A Heart of Flesh

*The Breaking

Sometimes, in order to get to that heart of flesh, it takes a hammer and a nail to chisel away at the stone. Finally, there is a break hard enough that the heart is exposed.

This is painful.

We get so used to protecting it with this wall of stone. We don’t want to feel, so we cover it. We hold in or hold back feeling. We deny feeling because it hurts—or because we’ve been told that to have emotion is weak. So we tell ourselves: be strong, don’t cry, don’t feel.

*My Encounter with Jesus

My heart was broken, but this time it was different.

Jesus said, “Sit. Don’t run. Feel it.”

Then I felt a hand over my heart—His peace.

It calmed me down.

“It’s going to be ok.”

Did it stop the sadness? No, it stayed a while.

It felt confusing. What is this? Why? Make it go away.

I realized:

It’s a heart of flesh.

*Deeper understanding

Through a friend, the Lord shared with me, “It’s ok to cry, because”….

“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

— John 7:38 (NKJV)

I understood something more deeply at that moment.

The Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse:

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

— 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)

This verse came to life more than ever before.

We run from feeling, and we make ourselves strong.

We do all these things to run from emotion.

We think it’s strength — but it’s a lie.

This is a new lesson, unlearned and relearned.

The world says, “Don’t cry, be strong.”

Jesus says, “When you are weak, My strength is made perfect.”

Why is this?

*The Father’s Arms

Earlier when I cried over what had happened, I laid on my husband’s chest—upset and hurt—and he just let me cry.

When that verse came to me, I saw myself in that state, being held by Jesus, by my Father. I was so weak, and His arms were around me in every way His love could manifest.

I only had my dad in and out of my life, so I never had a father figure.

And for the first time, I understood the love of the Father.

I realized I had been missing this my whole life, and I didn’t even know I needed it — this embrace from a loving Father.

A Father who allows you to be weak and fall to pieces — and He will be strong for you.

It’s ok.

The Lord says, “It’s ok to cry. Cry out to Me!”

*Jesus and the Secret Place

What do we think was happening when Jesus would go out to pray alone?

I imagined this. In my heart I asked, “Lord, how did You do it? How were You so strong when You were rejected?”

The answer: He went to His Father for comfort.

He let Himself be weak in secret — and His strength came from the Lord.

*Guarding the Heart of Flesh

So what now? How do we keep it from turning to stone again?

Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV)

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”

To protect and guard your heart doesn’t mean to build walls around it so nothing can touch it.

It means to stand guard at the gate — protecting and overseeing what comes in and out.

We need that heart of flesh to stay sensitive.

Without it, how can we truly love?

*The Circumcised Heart

Deuteronomy 10:16

“Therefore circumcise the foreskin of your heart, and be stiff-necked no longer.”

Deuteronomy 30:6

“And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.”

This is rejoicing in trials and seeing the glory of the Lord! Thank you Father for your faithfulness for your grace and for your love. Thank you for being my strength in my weakness. There is no greater strength than you. Thank you for enduring what you never had to do for me, so that I may live. Thank you for the revelation of your glory and love. You a great God made your self lower to suffer for me. To feel all this and more. My heart break is nothing compared to the rejection you felt and you still died. You still loved. Your love is eternal. This is only but a glimpse. Thank you for tears. Give me wisdom and discernment so that I may guard my heart well, and because I’m not perfect continuously do you work in my heart.

Written by Jessica Wilkins

❤️